31 Aug 2016

1) Four words: Hot Dog meat loaf!  This is the country of ground meat, so of course, there's a meat loaf that tastes just like a hot dog.  These work much better on sliced bread than regular hot dogs. I believe it's called LeberKase, but it's neither liver nor cheese. Go figure.

2) If you want your waiter to be amused/offended, keep asking for an apple juice when at a beer garden.



3) You need to know what currywurst is.  It's a big hot dog (sometimes sliced) in a ketchup-like sauce with curry powder on it.  The other day, I asked for a curry wurst with no powder, and you'd think I asked to eat someone's baby.  The waiter was aghast and suggested the bratwurst, but what I really wanted was the hot dog in the ketchup sauce.  The bratwurst sucked, by the way.

4) I've never really lived in a place that had GINORMOUS grasshoppers.  We had one in the house and I didn't know what to do with it, so I hit it with a fly swatter.  Holy moley, those things are full of brown juice! Splashed everywhere.  I think I might have screamed like a girl. Not sure, though. Some of it is a blank.



5) I have yet to get my car washed.  I have a bit of fear here.  I've seen car washes in use, but German instructions can be intimidating.  Guess I'll just have a dirty car.

6) Remoulade is the best thing in the world.



7) Schnitzel is basically chicken fried steak

8) I'm a pretty smart guy, but I was simply unable to figure out the bread slicer at the grocery store. The instructions were all pictures too, but I was defeated.



9) While in a grocery store, a beautiful blonde girl walked by. Most of her butt was showing under her tiny cut-off jean short thong, and her basket was full of baby powder. I have no idea how that's related, but it was odd. All I could think was "She must be cold" and "That's really unsanitary".

10) I'm told the worst beer in Germany is better than the best beer elsewhere. I once compared a mass produced German beer to Budweiser and narrowly avoided being slain on the spot.

11) I'm still taking my German classes, and recently, came across a Mark Twain quote:

"My philological studies have satisfied me that a gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years." - Mark Twain

13) I need to learn and remember the gender of vegetables to know how to refer to them in German.



14) Oktoberfest starts in September.

15) I have yet to try a Radler (beer and lemonade.) On the one hand, I love lemonade, on the other, I hate beer.  Maybe if mixed, it might be somewhere in between love and hate.